That sentence is the bane of my existence. Ok, yes, I will admit, on some basic level, I think I know everything. But here's the thing. Most of my peers think they know everything because "I'm not a little kid anymore, y'know? I have my own mind and stuff, and high school taught me a lot about life, so I can figure this stuff out, 'kay?" On the other side of the fence, I think I know everything because, while those kids were out partying, drinking, dancing, etc., I was sitting at home going, "huh... I wonder what the meaning of life is..." And then I would proceed to spend the next hour and half wondering on that exact subject.
Now let me be clear, this is not any sort of bitterness on my part that makes me say that. On the contrary, it doesn't bother me that much that my social life has been sort of, lax, over the years, because I've had a lot of time to get clear about who I am as an individual, and what I think my place is in the world. However, that is my exact problem. I've spent a great deal of time considering my identity and place in the world, and as such, that feeling of "I know a lot more about things than you" attitude ends up lumping me in with all of my peers who have scarcely even begun to consider the concept of what happens after college, much less after they die. And sure, maybe I'm a little arrogant, but I feel it has an actual basis, rather than just brought on by a fear of being inferior.
Plus, I'm sure Plato and Socrates were arrogant little snots in their younger days, and kept on having little smartass smiles and shaking their heads when their friends "had a sudden epiphany" for many years to come.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
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